• Cultist Scribe S

I Have Some Good Things To Say About 'The Shed'(SPOILERS!!!)

...along with a few minor bad things

As I was anxiously scrolling through my Shudder for movies to watch that would excite me as much as 'Color Out Of Space' did I subtly whispered to myself, "Gee, what uninspired two-dimensional b movie shit show am I going to lower my standards to watch now." Initially, The Shed didn't seem all that intriguing to me, and it's not a lame b movie flick either. A horror movie solely based around a shed? So, I again said to myself, (and this is me alone in my room) "What's in the box?" The only way to find out what's in the box, is well, to open it, and that's why you're all here because I'm opening the box motherfucker.

This metaphorical box was gift-wrapped terribly and only took me running my finger through the wrapping once to undo it and dive straight in. Inside the box was a wooden stake because (spoilers), this is a vampire movie. How did a vampire get stuck in the shed? It walked in there himself. The main protagonist and orphaned Stanley, played by Jay Jay Warren, discovers the freeloader within the first quarter of the film when he murders his dog and his grandfather.

Stanley is an outcast alongside best friend Dommer, who has been getting beaten on every day at school by three of the most typical high school bullies pulled straight out of the movie 'My Bodyguard (1980)'. We also see a Stanley love interest causing me to believe that this movie is based on complete fake news because if being melodramatic and unhinged gets you a girl then where was my Roxy?

What drives this film is also angsty, and severely misguided loner Dommer (which you can mistake for a serial murderer, Jeffrey Dahmer if you want to I know I did), because all though relatable, this character is so far south on his moral compass, I feared him more than the vampire, itself. His lust for power was insatiable. He wanted revenge so badly it was almost laughable.

From this point of the film, we're halfway through, the vampire's still in the shed, and Dommer suggests feeding it some chad bullies. So far, the only thing carrying this film is that concept and I would have loved to see Dommer's revenge story to play out. There's a lot of people I'd throw in that shed.

We get a cookie-cutter ending with our two protagonists Stanley and Roxy, holed out in the house boarding up the windows and getting ready for a vampire onslaught. Now I'm trying not to spoil this entire movie because I still think you should see it, but it ends with Stanley and Roxy before the credits roll.

This movie did a lot of things that I liked. You see, the characters may seem generic from how I described but I really liked the storytelling in this one. through the characters had to do some stupid things just for the story to move along, it wasn't hard for me to enjoy. If you, a family member, or a friend, are subject to the high exposure of human error, you can live with the main character not disposing of a torn human arm outside of a shed before every surviving character witnesses it and makes you look really suspect. We all have those days.

The buildup of this movie is what I like about these films with simple concepts and decent performances by the main characters. Various shots of the shed made for well-placed cut-ins for very ominous pacing. The whispers from the shed taunting anyone who went near it were excellent additions to making me fear what was inside. Director Frank Sabatella made sure that you feared the Vampire during the day, and especially at night where he may have possibly escaped and you were awaiting that jump scare.

Overall, I enjoyed this one. It was an 80's throwback that maybe went a little too hard on social stereotypes that are already burned into our brains at this point. This movie also made me question my own morale and what my decisions would of been.

What would you do if you had a Vampire locked up in your shed outback?

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